Episode #3 – Holiday Edition

I hope everyone had a safe and happy 4th..blah blah blah…now on to business…

Ladies, ladies, ladies… *shakin my dayum head* When are we gonna learn? We have so many options.. bick, nair, soap-water-razor blade, wax, laser, queen helen’s something or nother..etc, etc.. come on people!This is why I say I’m glad I ain’t black.

So wrong on so many levels. When you look like a sack of mashed potatoes from the front AND the side, I’mma need you to NOT pose. And when yo knees pointin in opposite directions and you standing up straight, please put on some pants. You scare me.

When yo tiddays two inches from yo waist, it’s not a good idea to wear a peep through shirt. I am so mad at you and ya tiddays look like them sand bags people in Iowa were using to stop the floods.

Goodness.. when yo legs together and they form a triangle from the knees down why you smiling? Your shape is hideous and I hate you.

Wow! Girl you got heart.. When your entire body look like you got plastic bubble wrap unda yo skin, I’mma need you to a) stop posing for pics b) stop posing for pics in bikinis c) stop posing for pics in bikinis that you know don’t fit and d) stop posing for pics in bikinis that you know don’t fit and go sit the fuk down somewhere…In that order please.

My work is never done.

Durt

19 Responses to “Episode #3 – Holiday Edition”

  1. MrsCeeBee Says:

    *can’t breathe*

  2. natasha Says:

    i can’t breathe at the hilarity of the comments on the last pic.. you are soo Dead ON!

    BF

  3. sandybaby Says:

    They all look like they have sever BODY ODOR. Ewwww!

  4. YOU ARE HEEELARRRRRRRRRIOUS!! I am about to piss my pants…I cant stop crying from laughing so hard. LMAO @ the last chick HA!!!

  5. babybear1170 Says:

    sososososososo the one in the bathing suit wore that to a club. TAKE ME OFF!!!!!

  6. Girl.

    You really need to take your talents to the stand up comedy circuit. There is too much money to be made out her with comedic talent like yourn.

  7. tiltedhalo Says:

    This was so freaking hilarious! You are so funny…do you know the talent you possess? I’m sitting here LMAO! My black ppl, my black ppl, why? This right here – “your shape is hideous and I hate you!” LMFAO

  8. Girl this shyt here is comedy @ it’s best!!!!

  9. I’m wondering where these people live so I may beat them. Glad I stumbled upon this, its all I need to survive.

  10. dude…where do u find this stuff

  11. cococure Says:

    *chokingggggg* S.O.S. please,my eyes are straight hurting cuz of my Maybelline mascara burning my eyes due to all the tears!

  12. Oh My… I am calling on the Lord for my strength. WE sure do need HIM now!!!

  13. in reference to
    “Wow! Girl you got heart.. When your entire body look like you got plastic bubble wrap unda yo skin, I’mma need you to a) stop posing for pics b) stop posing for pics in bikinis c) stop posing for pics in bikinis that you know don’t fit and d) stop posing for pics in bikinis that you know don’t fit and go sit the fuk down somewhere…In that order please….”

    May I please add E.) matter of fact, skip a-d all together and just go cop a one piece, a sarong…but still sit the fuk down somewhere.

  14. stone in a glass house Says:

    im glad your not black too..you sound like your mother is built like a stallion..thats who i wanna boink..i know she still get that old slave crave …can you hook a black brother up? i promise to pull out and give her a BEN GAY rub!?! by the way thanx !! this just gave me a great idea..i’m going to start a blog about these nasty white shitfuck bitches spilling all out they clothes too…look out for it..coming soon!

    have a black..i mean blessed day : )
    tah tah

    ****let me know whats the word with ya mama tho for real****

  15. quickwitted Says:

    I would also like to point out that mashed potato mami from the second pic has tidday sweat. Ive never seen that before. EVER. Shes got pancakes an both sides. WOW!!

  16. Lisa S. Says:

    Wat is up wit pic numba 2? has no 1 noticed shorty have a sweat patch for each crease in the dam dress?? down to her coochie? I’m mad as hell at that!!!

  17. Butterflyz Says:

    Damn..#2 with the brown dress…uh shirt…There ain’t no way in hell she put that put that on and thought she looked good, with all those rolls of fat looking like it’s trying to escape!

  18. Ole girl in the tinybikini is lookin like Devin Hester!!!
    LMMFAO…..

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