Archive for Seriously? wtf?

Episode #3 – Holiday Edition

Posted in Hot Azz Mess with tags , , on July 7, 2008 by durtymo

I hope everyone had a safe and happy 4th..blah blah blah…now on to business…

Ladies, ladies, ladies… *shakin my dayum head* When are we gonna learn? We have so many options.. bick, nair, soap-water-razor blade, wax, laser, queen helen’s something or nother..etc, etc.. come on people!This is why I say I’m glad I ain’t black.

So wrong on so many levels. When you look like a sack of mashed potatoes from the front AND the side, I’mma need you to NOT pose. And when yo knees pointin in opposite directions and you standing up straight, please put on some pants. You scare me.

When yo tiddays two inches from yo waist, it’s not a good idea to wear a peep through shirt. I am so mad at you and ya tiddays look like them sand bags people in Iowa were using to stop the floods.

Goodness.. when yo legs together and they form a triangle from the knees down why you smiling? Your shape is hideous and I hate you.

Wow! Girl you got heart.. When your entire body look like you got plastic bubble wrap unda yo skin, I’mma need you to a) stop posing for pics b) stop posing for pics in bikinis c) stop posing for pics in bikinis that you know don’t fit and d) stop posing for pics in bikinis that you know don’t fit and go sit the fuk down somewhere…In that order please.

My work is never done.

Durt